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I had a big fought today with the one I loved. He is the guy who made me believe in love once more and he is the one who really made me feel that I'm the most happiest girl on earth for the past one month.
I started this fight due to my childishness and hell yeah, he wasn't in the good mood that time and the fight started.
This is our longest fight and each and every words of his, aches me and hurts me deeply. It's like a knife slicing slice by slice of my heart..
I can't help, but tears kept filling my eyes and rolls down..
This fight made me realised that he actually doesn't have any confident in our relationship. His pasts are still haunting him.. His male ego is dominating him.. And the main thing is, up til now he doesn't put a trust in me and believe that I'm actually have feel for him and love him.
I can't really believe that he actually said that I accepted him because I pitied and scared that I will hurt him. That really hurts. *ouuccchhs
I guess I'm such a failure for not gaining his confidence and earning his trust. *sigh
I guess one of the most important thing in a relationship is faith, isn't it? If the faith doesn't exist, how can the relationship lasts?
*sigh...
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Stupid Day.
great. today i was actually going out with my former classmates from TARC.
it ended up that, i felt i was so stupid and "wu liao" to have joined them because one of my friend, who was also my stupid ex, teased me and made me feel irritated!
well, actually it was nothing. maybe i'm the one who cannot think positively. maybe i'm that kind of people who is very "small gas".
i don't know.
it started out when we were in the car, and i cannot recall what we were talking about when he suddenly said who am i to him and why he must care (something like that) !
well, that really pissed me off and for the whole day i was in the bad mood and kind of hate him. ok, let's face it. he's no longer my boyfriend, and i'd made it clear that we are only friends. i should be nothing and hell yeah, i should've let him say what he want and treated him like how i treated the other friends whom too, always teasing me and made me looked bad.
but i can't! hello! i juz feel like going to get out from there and go back by myself! and damn it. when we were at Gurney, i was walking alone and i felt very boring eventhough my friends were treating me better than last time. no one talk to me, have also i feel that they very shy (my feeling), things like that.
that guy didn't walk with me nor talk to me either! wtf!
he treated me as if i'm invisible! freak.
so, what's the point i join them?
was it juz to take back my scale ruler or was it juz to meet them?
honestly, i did really feel great being go out with them because they treated me better than when i was in my college time. well, at least they "see" my presence now rather than last time see me only ran away. but i juz hate the way that guy treated me like shit and i juz dun like it.
for those who reading this and were my classmate once, maybe u guys will feel that i should taste it and padan my muka for treating him like shit last time. anyway, i'm juz telling out what i feel. i dun care what u guys going to think bout me and i dun give a damn. i'm having a bad mood right now. and sorry if i'm rude to u guys.
but i really appreciate WJ because he's willing to fetch me from my office. LOL. if for last time, i dun think he will give a damn to fetch me~ =X
why i appreciate WJ...? that was because the four of them duno how to go to my office and they were not well verse bout pg road... in addition, the three of them were not from pg... haha and he's so good to came along from Alor Setar to SP to Penang and also to fetch me after work. haha...
sigh... then i didn't have my lunch today because they ate their lunch d! i have to eat alone at the cinema with mashed potato, 15 meatballs, half of the large popcorn combo and large coke. omg i'm going to be fat...!
i wanted to join them for steamboat but i can't. my parents din allow me to join them (i guess). that was because they will start at 8pm and going back at 11 something pm...
well, why start at 8pm? that was because one of my classmate, JY have to work full day and can only reach there at 8pm... that's why they chose 8pm...
well, i also wana meet him but i can't. not i dun wan. but anyway, i felt boring there and i also felt very angry with the remarks made by my friend.
on the way back, i felt like wana tell out my feeling to someone who understands me and who is willing to lend me their ears and comfort me... but i can't find who's the one who can really understand me and comfort me during that time... so, i called up one of my friend and i thought of telling him bout what i feel... but i juz duno how to let out my feelings and he was working so i juz said nothing to him... another friend, i thought he would lend me his ears, but instead he hurt my feelings more by saying those words which didn't help me at all!
he, instead told me that he's no longer going to care bout other people's feeling and he dun care bout other people except for himself. wth! i was so angry with him that i dun wana talk to him anymore! well, i may be very childish and not being able to grow up. but, that's me. that's the one u guys know and yeah, i can't help myself. u see, i'm juz telling out how i feel and what i felt today. sigh. and sorry if u dun feel comfortable with my remarks.
i juz hate everything. no one is ever good to us. they are juz our another toxic friend. like what i told my friend before... once the person further his studies at the other place like KL, he will change. he will be no longer be the person that we knew before and the feelings will be different too. he might think that the feeling will never change but before he knew it, the feeling was already not there and he will find it that all his burden before has gone and he will never get used to the life he led before.
well, that's what we call life goes on.
it ended up that, i felt i was so stupid and "wu liao" to have joined them because one of my friend, who was also my stupid ex, teased me and made me feel irritated!
well, actually it was nothing. maybe i'm the one who cannot think positively. maybe i'm that kind of people who is very "small gas".
i don't know.
it started out when we were in the car, and i cannot recall what we were talking about when he suddenly said who am i to him and why he must care (something like that) !
well, that really pissed me off and for the whole day i was in the bad mood and kind of hate him. ok, let's face it. he's no longer my boyfriend, and i'd made it clear that we are only friends. i should be nothing and hell yeah, i should've let him say what he want and treated him like how i treated the other friends whom too, always teasing me and made me looked bad.
but i can't! hello! i juz feel like going to get out from there and go back by myself! and damn it. when we were at Gurney, i was walking alone and i felt very boring eventhough my friends were treating me better than last time. no one talk to me, have also i feel that they very shy (my feeling), things like that.
that guy didn't walk with me nor talk to me either! wtf!
he treated me as if i'm invisible! freak.
so, what's the point i join them?
was it juz to take back my scale ruler or was it juz to meet them?
honestly, i did really feel great being go out with them because they treated me better than when i was in my college time. well, at least they "see" my presence now rather than last time see me only ran away. but i juz hate the way that guy treated me like shit and i juz dun like it.
for those who reading this and were my classmate once, maybe u guys will feel that i should taste it and padan my muka for treating him like shit last time. anyway, i'm juz telling out what i feel. i dun care what u guys going to think bout me and i dun give a damn. i'm having a bad mood right now. and sorry if i'm rude to u guys.
but i really appreciate WJ because he's willing to fetch me from my office. LOL. if for last time, i dun think he will give a damn to fetch me~ =X
why i appreciate WJ...? that was because the four of them duno how to go to my office and they were not well verse bout pg road... in addition, the three of them were not from pg... haha and he's so good to came along from Alor Setar to SP to Penang and also to fetch me after work. haha...
sigh... then i didn't have my lunch today because they ate their lunch d! i have to eat alone at the cinema with mashed potato, 15 meatballs, half of the large popcorn combo and large coke. omg i'm going to be fat...!
i wanted to join them for steamboat but i can't. my parents din allow me to join them (i guess). that was because they will start at 8pm and going back at 11 something pm...
well, why start at 8pm? that was because one of my classmate, JY have to work full day and can only reach there at 8pm... that's why they chose 8pm...
well, i also wana meet him but i can't. not i dun wan. but anyway, i felt boring there and i also felt very angry with the remarks made by my friend.
on the way back, i felt like wana tell out my feeling to someone who understands me and who is willing to lend me their ears and comfort me... but i can't find who's the one who can really understand me and comfort me during that time... so, i called up one of my friend and i thought of telling him bout what i feel... but i juz duno how to let out my feelings and he was working so i juz said nothing to him... another friend, i thought he would lend me his ears, but instead he hurt my feelings more by saying those words which didn't help me at all!
he, instead told me that he's no longer going to care bout other people's feeling and he dun care bout other people except for himself. wth! i was so angry with him that i dun wana talk to him anymore! well, i may be very childish and not being able to grow up. but, that's me. that's the one u guys know and yeah, i can't help myself. u see, i'm juz telling out how i feel and what i felt today. sigh. and sorry if u dun feel comfortable with my remarks.
i juz hate everything. no one is ever good to us. they are juz our another toxic friend. like what i told my friend before... once the person further his studies at the other place like KL, he will change. he will be no longer be the person that we knew before and the feelings will be different too. he might think that the feeling will never change but before he knew it, the feeling was already not there and he will find it that all his burden before has gone and he will never get used to the life he led before.
well, that's what we call life goes on.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Farewell.
today... a friend of mine, who was very close to me long time ago left for his studies in overseas...
i guess sharp at 8.20am he depart already...
few days before yesterday, i found no courage to contact him and say good bye at all...
well, i juz feel that it's pretty awkward to do so...
but eventually i'd gathered all my courage to call him up juz to say "hi" and "bye"...
his voice... was the voice that i'd been longing over these years...
i guess sharp at 8.20am he depart already...
few days before yesterday, i found no courage to contact him and say good bye at all...
well, i juz feel that it's pretty awkward to do so...
but eventually i'd gathered all my courage to call him up juz to say "hi" and "bye"...
his voice... was the voice that i'd been longing over these years...
i duno why... but til now, it's still so dear to me...
perhaps, that was the voice which comfort me when i was down long long time ago...
it was that voice, which supported me and made me strong when i was down during my younger days...
we have nothing to talk... the atmosphere was so awkward and i duno what to ask..
in the end, i juz said, "good nite and bye bye... take care...."
that was the end of our conversation~
i guess it would juz remain as a memory which i had few years back when i was at the age of 17...
farewell....
today it's also the final episode of Dou Niu, Yao Bu Yao...
the ending was so romantic...
farewell....
today it's also the final episode of Dou Niu, Yao Bu Yao...
the ending was so romantic...
i wish i could have such a happy love life too... LOL...
the songs remind me of my life... it was kind of touching...
it touched me...
最近還好嗎 - S.H.E
挑一張耶誕卡
寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底
你能不能收到它
天有點冷 風有點大
城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天
我得一個人走回家
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏
回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
有再多的牽掛
都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候
比陌生人還尴尬
昨天遠了 明天還長
回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚
要怎樣不流下
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏
回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
愛來過 - S.H.E
我看不開 也放不開
因為我曾見過愛情真的盛開
我要等待 一直等待
等那一個夜晚從回憶回來
當你擁抱著我 那一瞬間
我像飛到空中
而當我緩緩降落
我不再是我
我有了夢 我在夢中
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
寂寞喧嘩 我不害怕
因為我只聽得見對你的牽掛
世界很大 會容得下
我這小小傻傻頑固的信仰
你有沒有過承諾 我已忘了
那已不重要了
反正我都會守候 在夢中守候
我最唯一最美的夢
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來
如果需要動用奇蹟來召喚回你
就讓淚蒸發 下成雪花
和我一起在愛中被融化
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
it touched me...
最近還好嗎 - S.H.E
挑一張耶誕卡
寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底
你能不能收到它
天有點冷 風有點大
城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天
我得一個人走回家
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏
回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
有再多的牽掛
都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候
比陌生人還尴尬
昨天遠了 明天還長
回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚
要怎樣不流下
問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裏
回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法
讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我 還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎 心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
愛來過 - S.H.E
我看不開 也放不開
因為我曾見過愛情真的盛開
我要等待 一直等待
等那一個夜晚從回憶回來
當你擁抱著我 那一瞬間
我像飛到空中
而當我緩緩降落
我不再是我
我有了夢 我在夢中
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
寂寞喧嘩 我不害怕
因為我只聽得見對你的牽掛
世界很大 會容得下
我這小小傻傻頑固的信仰
你有沒有過承諾 我已忘了
那已不重要了
反正我都會守候 在夢中守候
我最唯一最美的夢
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來
如果需要動用奇蹟來召喚回你
就讓淚蒸發 下成雪花
和我一起在愛中被融化
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
愛來過 來得那麼美 那麼兇
歡呼著 從我生命狠狠輾過
連遺憾 也都不爭氣的 珍惜成笑容
愛來過 讓我完整過 幸福過
怎麼能 輕易就放它走
我不想解脫 我只怕錯過
我就是要等你回來愛我
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